Fe and Fi Differences
My husband and I moved into a new house less than a year ago, and we're still settling in.
The downstairs bathroom seems to be the "guest bathroom," since it is closest to the guest bedroom and the living room.
A few weeks ago, I felt it should be furnished appropriately for guests! To that end, I collected together a number of bottles of shampoo and conditioner from various hotel stays, and put them in a plastic bin that I set in the shower. I chose shampoos & conditioners that featured a color scheme on the container that matched the house's color scheme, so as to stay in keeping with the theme. I thought this would have a subtle affect on any visitors, and make a nice impact.
I also got a wire toilet paper holder for spare rolls of tissue. That way, one could replace the toilet paper roll easily without having to rummage through cupboards looking for fresh rolls.
All very considerate, wouldn't you say......?
Well, as it happens, my husband often uses that bathroom. And one day I happened to notice that my supply of shampoo was mysteriously dwindling. I thought perhaps I had mis-remembered how many shampoos I had put there...? Then I noticed that the wire holder for spare toilet paper was nearly empty. And at last I connected the dots!
My husband supposed I had thoughtfully gone to all this effort on HIS behalf! He was delighted with these convenient supplies for his personal comfort.
It was a difficult conversation to navigate the understanding that this was intended for GUESTS, not my dearly beloved husband.
For me, I felt astonished that he wouldn't have known that, figured that out, or at least CHECKED with me about these generous gestures.
And such is the problem with introverted Feeling -- it doesn't have an awareness of other people's feelings. It's not trying to hurt anyone; it isn't evil-intentioned; it is simply oblivious to the presence of others' feelings. It doesn't automatically consider the "other," the intentions of the person making the effort. That's not where its attention goes.
Introverted Feeling is a very challenging process for me to be with, especially in its inflated form. In other words, I wanted to wring his neck! And yet, he was simply being himself. It can be deeply challenging to honor diversity sometimes when I feel "injured" by his "obliviousness." SIGH!
Maybe I will go eat all his dark choclate in a fit of introverted Feeling. But somehow that doesn't feel like the right thing to do either...
The downstairs bathroom seems to be the "guest bathroom," since it is closest to the guest bedroom and the living room.
A few weeks ago, I felt it should be furnished appropriately for guests! To that end, I collected together a number of bottles of shampoo and conditioner from various hotel stays, and put them in a plastic bin that I set in the shower. I chose shampoos & conditioners that featured a color scheme on the container that matched the house's color scheme, so as to stay in keeping with the theme. I thought this would have a subtle affect on any visitors, and make a nice impact.
I also got a wire toilet paper holder for spare rolls of tissue. That way, one could replace the toilet paper roll easily without having to rummage through cupboards looking for fresh rolls.
All very considerate, wouldn't you say......?
Well, as it happens, my husband often uses that bathroom. And one day I happened to notice that my supply of shampoo was mysteriously dwindling. I thought perhaps I had mis-remembered how many shampoos I had put there...? Then I noticed that the wire holder for spare toilet paper was nearly empty. And at last I connected the dots!
My husband supposed I had thoughtfully gone to all this effort on HIS behalf! He was delighted with these convenient supplies for his personal comfort.
It was a difficult conversation to navigate the understanding that this was intended for GUESTS, not my dearly beloved husband.
For me, I felt astonished that he wouldn't have known that, figured that out, or at least CHECKED with me about these generous gestures.
And such is the problem with introverted Feeling -- it doesn't have an awareness of other people's feelings. It's not trying to hurt anyone; it isn't evil-intentioned; it is simply oblivious to the presence of others' feelings. It doesn't automatically consider the "other," the intentions of the person making the effort. That's not where its attention goes.
Introverted Feeling is a very challenging process for me to be with, especially in its inflated form. In other words, I wanted to wring his neck! And yet, he was simply being himself. It can be deeply challenging to honor diversity sometimes when I feel "injured" by his "obliviousness." SIGH!
Maybe I will go eat all his dark choclate in a fit of introverted Feeling. But somehow that doesn't feel like the right thing to do either...
posted by Vicky Jo at 9:27 PM
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